parenting is hard…



















Today was one of those days I wish would be long forgotten or at least dismissed as “another boring day.” Alas, that probably won’t happen because the drama and the tears and frustration that defined the afternoon will mark this day for quite awhile as a bit more than boring. Drama is a better descriptor, I think.

There are four females living in our home, otherwise known as Kappa Alpha Estrogen. It seems at times healthy boundaries get blurred, feelings get hurt and one young lady or another begins to spew angry words and accusations that would make a sailor blush.


It’s days like today that I figure, what’s the use? Who cares anyway if these three girls have mutual love and respect for each other, my expectations must be too high, anyway. Besides, the oldest one is quick to remind me everyone (or no one) else is “doing it or going there or wearing it…” What do I know? It’s not like I wrote the book on
Mothering 101: All You Need to Knowand Then Some.


I mean, is it really realistic to want, to truly desire these young women grow into emotionally, physically, spiritually healthy adults that are able to love and be loved? Am I expecting too much to want a great family that honors God first, loves one another and seeks to serve others?


A week or so ago, my friend Joanne was lamenting the same questions, only in her own way.

“Parenting is hard. And when it gets hard and when I’m tired and when it seems like nothing ever changes, well, I just want to give up. I figure my hopes and dreams and expectations of what a family should/could be must be just plain unrealistic and that maybe I should just lower the bar.”


I thought I was the only one who felt this way…but it seems lots of us feel kind of discouraged sometimes. When I am without courage, when I want to just kick the ground and sort of give up I am reminded of a couple things:

My Lord loves my children far more than I do. He is even more interested in their emotional, physical and spiritual growth than I ever will be. (Whew…that does take a little pressure off.)

The Enemy loves when I get discouraged, sullen, sulky and full of self-pity…he jumps right in and echoes every negative thought I can think.

The Truth: Family is and always will be God’s idea…so my desires for my family to be a great family…they aren’t selfish, they are biblical. Psalm 128 reminds me that “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.”

More Truth: This life isn’t easy, it wasn’t meant to be…but I am not alone as a mom, God is working in and through my heart and in and through the hearts of my girls, too. His plans for them will not be sidetracked by my sub-par parenting nor will they be augmented by spectacularly fantastic parenting, either. I am called to fear the Lord, to walk in His ways, to talk about Him to my children and pray for them dutifully. That’s it. I can trust Him to do what He says He can do and that He is sufficient.



Filed under family, the journey

5 responses to “parenting is hard…

  1. eric

    Great post honey!

  2. bluecottonmemory

    You are right on target! My boys do the same thing and make me feel the same way. Some days it is hard keeping your eye on the goal. It i s such a walk in faith!

  3. Donna

    You can say the words that I feel, and I thank you. Now that my chickies are out of the house, you remember mostly only good days, and they remember funny things and bad days. Keep praying–that helps you both!!

  4. Thankful Mom

    Hi there,
    Just want to let you know that you’ve made my day. After a difficult day all around and feeling like a horrible parent, I had a few life saving reflections somewhere along this line (guess God got through to me) and I thought that if I had a blog, I’d write a post called “Parenting is Hard”
    I got online and after browsing a while and following one link after another, I did a double take when I saw your blog title. It was like the rest of what God was trying to show me when He spoke to me earlier today. I know you wrote this two years ago, but it was also meant for me today. Thank you!

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